she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
