his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize