Taylor Swift is so right about you.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
