its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
