I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
