You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
