He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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