i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
