i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
