It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We need a shit load of segways right now
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
