dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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