well I can't set my house on fire every night
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
