So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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