Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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