Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize