Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
