Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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