You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
