This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
