My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
