Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
