oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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