Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
