Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
