She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
