well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize