Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
