I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
