I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
