if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
