Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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