like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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