Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Panties = found
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