i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
