dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
