I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Semen is not good for contacts.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
