I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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