I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
