watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
