remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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