did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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