i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
