why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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