"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
