why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
