How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
