So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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