Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize