We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
