i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
