Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
