Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
