In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
