Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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