thus making me awesome and them whores
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I made him laugh his dick is mine
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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