Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
where am i from again
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
