he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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