I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
