carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
