bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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