From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
