do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
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