Dual....:-)
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
