I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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