Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
