so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Found your dick twin last night
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
