video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
