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• (334): View more from Alabama

  i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  so you're single again?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  yea but it was worth it

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.

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• (707): View more from California

  he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting

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• (408): View more from California

  I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  orgasmnado...tomorrow night

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  That's what I'm talking about

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.

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