dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize