no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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