I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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