did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
