that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
